


From the minute I met you

by Lulu_The_Real_Slytherpuff



Series: From the minute I met you 'verse [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Auston befriends LAs coolest lesbian, Coming Out, Confessing Feelings, Gay Male Character, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Sad, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 12:37:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14332620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulu_The_Real_Slytherpuff/pseuds/Lulu_The_Real_Slytherpuff
Summary: “Honey,” Cherry places her hand on his knee and looks him dead in the eye. “My gaydar pinged the second I locked eyes with you. It’s not your fault that your friends are oblivious.”And, well, she’s not wrong. His teammates are pretty fucking oblivious when it comes to sexuality.





	From the minute I met you

**Author's Note:**

> So this has been in my drafts for god knows how many months. In a fit of avoiding my coursework and trying to work through the writer's block that has hit me for chapter 4 of 'Ball and Chain', I decided to finish it. 
> 
> Enjoy my sad gay angst.

*

 

“That chick’s totally into you,” Mitch shouts into Auston’s ear, pointing at this blonde haired, scantily clad girl whose eyeing Auston up from the bar.

 

Auston tries to ignore the uneasiness that settles in his stomach and yells back to Mitch.

 

“Who isn’t?”

 

And Auston takes this as his queue to go ask the girl out and take her home.

 

Yay (not).

 

*

 

They go back to her place because Auston’s a lot of things but he’s not stupid enough to take a hook up back to his hotel. Whatever.

 

Cherry, as it turns out her name is, lives in downtown LA, in a small apartment with her roommate Dolly. _Jesus,_ sometimes Auston hates this fear he has of telling the guys that he’s just not interested in girls. It leads him into situations like this where he ends up fucking some random chick while trying not to seem disinterested.

 

Cherry pulls him into the apartment and stops him from walking any further into the hallway.

 

“Listen I can tell you’re not into any of this and neither am I so how about we sit on the couch and I’ll make us some tea?” She says, yanking her heels off her feet and tying her hair up into a messy bun.

 

“Uh, sure?” This feels way too much like a weird dream to be real.

 

He’s trying to think of something else to say but Cherry’s grabbing hold of his hand and leading him to this awful brown couch which somehow looks incredibly comfy. And then she’s wandering off to the kitchen and leaving Auston to awkwardly sit on the couch debating whether or not to stay or go.

 

He’s starting to make his way off the couch when Cherry comes back in; she’s changed into some tatty old sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, and holding two rainbow coloured mugs of steaming hot tea. She shoves one into Auston’s hands and then sits down next to him, facing Auston.

 

“So, Auston is it?” She asks him.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Listen, my roommate has this thing where she keeps trying to get me to hook-up with cute guys,” Auston nods, because same (except they’re trying to set him up with cute girls), “Anyway, she neglects the fact that I am a raging homosexual and I am not in any way, shape or form into dick, and it seems that you are.”

 

Auston spits out his tea.

 

“I’m not – uh –where the hell did you – “

 

“Honey,” Cherry places her hand on his knee and looks him dead in the eye. “My gaydar pinged the second I locked eyes with you. It’s not your fault that your friends are oblivious.”

 

And, well, she’s not wrong. His teammates are pretty fucking oblivious when it comes to sexuality.

 

“I am so confused,” is all Auston can manage to say.

 

*

 

Four cups of tea later and Auston’s somehow managed to become best friends with LA’s coolest lesbian. Cherry, he finds out, is an art school student with a focus on sculpting, and she’s out to pretty much everyone including the roommate that keeps trying to set her up with guys.

 

“She doesn’t really understand that being gay means being exclusively into someone who’s the same gender as me,” Cherry tells him.

 

“Sounds like she’s kind of homophobic.”

 

“More like fuckin’ dumb.”

 

He stays the night at Cherry’s apartment and by the time he’s heading back to the team hotel, he and Cherry have exchanged numbers and are texting each other shitty memes.

 

She’s also sending him pictures of hot guys which Auston appreciates because although she might be into girls but she has great taste in men too.

 

*

 

_U out to any1 yet???_

The text comes through while Auston’s getting ready for his pregame nap. He’s been talking to Cherry for the past month and they’ve somehow graduated from Not-Hook-Ups to Gay Best Friends. It’s pretty awesome except for the fact that Cherry keeps asking him if he’s come out to anyone else besides her.

 

**_Not yet._ **

_Y not???_

****

**_Because I’m not ready to._ **

_Fair enough_

She doesn’t press any further, instead she just sends him a picture of some half naked dude lounging on a beach.

 

_#QualityJerkOffContent_

**_Wow, my hero!_ **

****

****

“Texting your girlfriend again, Matts?” Mitch giggles next to him and bumps into his shoulder.

 

Auston feels his face heat up at the contact.

 

“Uh-no,no, not a girlfriend - just a friend, who is –uh – a girl,” He stutters out. Nailed it.

 

He feels Mitch pat his shoulder and smirk beside him.

 

“Whatever you say,” Mitch sings as Auston’s phone beeps again.

 

_Fuckin’ right I am_

 

 

*

 

So, here’s the deal. Auston may or may not have the biggest crush on Mitch Marner.

 

 Mitch Marner is his best friend on the team, he’s funny and friendly and makes Auston smile so much that his mouth aches. He is also incredibly confusing to be around because he has no concept of personal space, he’s always bouncing around the room hugging everyone or he’s got some part of him touching someone at all times whether it’s a hand around Marty’s shoulders or his legs draped across Auston in the team bus. And like Auston isn’t normally the one for assuming one’s sexuality but he’s pretty sure straight guys don’t do that.

 

But then again, it’s _Mitch_ and Auston has the biggest fucking crush on him so he’s trying his best to not like project or anything.

 

*

 

_So like have you gotten laid yet?_

**_Duh_ **

****

_But by a dude tho – girls dont count 4 u_

**_Answers still no_ ** **_L_ **

****

_Comin to ur florida game – meet up after?_

**_Hell yea_ **

****

*

 

They win against Florida in overtime. Auston’s limbs are aching but he can’t contain the grin on his face. The locker room is a mass of chirps and laughter as the team celebrates their first victory of the road trip and Auston has to politely decline Willy and Mitch’s offer to help him “bang a hot chick” after his “fuckin’ beaut of an OT goal”.

 

Fuckin’ straight guys.

 

Fuckin’ Mitch.

 

Instead, Auston makes some bullshit excuse about wanting to keep his energy up for the rest of the trip and staying back at the hotel so he can finally meet up with Cherry.

 

“Fuckin’ old man,” Mitch laughs, when Auston says so, wrapping his arm around Auston’s shoulders and leaning into him. He would definitely punch Mitch in the face for that comment if he wasn’t so taken with him.

 

 

*

 

“Made any progress with Mitch yet?” Cherry asks him, swirling her pink cocktail around.

 

“I don’t think there’ll ever be, Cher,” Auston sighs, swallowing down a large mouthful of beer. “You’re like the only person who knows I’m gay.”

 

“You should at least come out to him, Auston.”

 

Cherry stares at him pointedly, sipping her cocktail and watching him with a steady gaze. Heat rises to Auston’s cheeks and look, it’s not like hasn’t thought about coming out to Mitch or to any of the guys on the team; it’s just he’s not ready to hear their reactions yet. Not ready to make that leap and risk losing all of the people he’s deemed his family over the past two years. And definitely not ready for Mitch to get even the slightest hint of Auston’s ‘crush’ on him.

 

Auston tells Cherry as such.

 

“All very valid reasons, but I really think you need to tell someone other than me. It’s not fair on you that you feel like have to hide this part of yourself. You’re gay, so what! If they’re assholes about it, they can meet me and my fist.”

 

And Auston can’t help but let out a loud hearty laugh at the image of Matt Martin being punched by the 5’1” blonde lesbian that is Cherry Hartnen. She laughs back at him and clinks her glass to his.

 

“Hey! I have the power of rainbow on my side and you know I could take those fuckers down.”

****

****

*

The Leafs are back in Toronto, celebrating in the locker room after a shutout against Edmonton. Auston’s pulling his suit jacket back up over his shoulders and running his fingers through his wet hair when he feels someone slide up next to him. He turns his head to find himself face to face with Patty, who has a determines expression on his face.

 

“Hey, Pat. Sick goal tonight!” Auston tries to go for the compliment as a deflect but Patty’s old and knows that he’s deflecting.

 

“You’re coming home with me. I wanna talk to you,” Patty says with a straight face before grinning and patting Auston on the shoulder. “Not too bad of goal yourself, eh Matts? I’ll meet you in my car.”

 

*

 

The car ride is especially quiet and awkward when Auston finally gets in there. Patty’s hands are gripping the steering wheel tight and he keeps turning to Auston, like he’s trying to say something but can’t quite get the words right. They’re driving through the busy streets of Toronto and out past the bright lights of city and out to a quiet road. Auston can feel the giant, flapping moths form a tornado in his stomach and he can’t help the panic from rising up in his gut and his hands from shaking. Finally, Pat pulls onto the side of the road, switches the car engine off and turns to face Auston.

 

“You’ve been avoiding Mitch,” He says, his voice firm and portraying no emotion.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Auston tries to keep his voice from shaking.

 

“Ever since Florida last week. You’ve barely talked outside of practice and Mitch says you haven’t played Fortnite with him in ages. Mitch says you haven’t had a fight but if he’s done something to upset him you need to tell him so he can fix his mistake,” Pat leans over the console and lays a hand on Auston’s shoulder. “Either that or you need to get your head out of your ass.”

 

“I-I-I didn’t realise I was doing it I swear Patty!” Auston stutters out. Christ, had he really been that obvious about it? He was only trying to erase suspicion about his Mitch thing, not trying to hurt his feelings!

 

Pat sighs deeply and pinches the bridge of his nose.

 

“Then what’s going on Auston?”

 

“I can’t tell you.”

 

“I promise whatever it is, I’m not going to judge you. I might be old enough to be your dad but I’m still your friend, Auston,” Patty says softly, tapping Auston’s shoulder.

 

Auston doesn’t reply, heat rising to his cheeks and an internal debate going on in his head. Every part of his body feels flushed and his chest is starting to feel tighter – like his lungs are filling up with water.

 

“Whoa, Aus, calm down,” Pat whispers, patting Auston’s back. “Breathe, dude.”

 

It takes several moments for Auston’s breath to calm back down and for his lungs to empty of the ‘water’. Patty is still rubbing circles into Auston’s back, gently whispering to him. Finally, when he starts to feel less like he’s going to suffocate and die, Patty looks up at Auston and dead in the eye.

 

“Do you like Mitch?”

 

“W-what? Of course I like Mitch, Patty,” Auston stutters out. “He’s my best friend, I’m obliged to.”

 

“Not like that Auston. I mean, do you _like_ Mitch?”

 

And Auston wants to tell him “No!” to tell Patty that he’s got it all wrong. Auston definitely isn’t gay and he definitely doesn’t have a thing for Mitch. Except Patty’s watching him with kind and concerned eyes, and the second Auston looks into them he breaks.

 

He tells Patty everything. About Cherry, about being gay and about Mitch. And Patty listens. Listens to what Auston has to say and offers him a warm hug by the time he’s finished and his eyes are glistening with unshed tears.

 

“I’m with your friend Auston. Mitchy needs to know about this,” Patty says as Auston gets out the car four hours later.

 

*

 

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Mitch’s voice is gentle, he isn’t accusing Auston, just stating a fact. Auston has been avoiding him.

 

They’re lay in bed in the dark in some shitty hotel in Montreal. The room’s pitch black and Auston’s feigning sleep when Mitch’s voice cuts through the silence. There’s a weight the settles heavy on his chest and Auston knows that this is the moment, can feel it in the air.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Why? Have I done something to upset you Matty?” Mitch asks, voice hesitant and layered with thinly veiled hurt.

 

Auston sighs, running a hand over his face. The silence grows longer between them.

 

_He can do this._

_He can tell Mitch._

“Matts?”

 

“I’m gay, Mitch,” Auston forces out, finally. He doesn’t feel the relief like he did when he told Patty or Cherry. Instead the weight settles heavier in Auston’s chest and he can feel Mitch’s shock and uncertainty over the other side of the room. Mitch doesn’t say anything for a while – it feels like hours but the clock tells him it’s only been a few minutes. He can practically hear Mitch’s mind ticking away, anxiety churning in his stomach as he tries to work out what Mitch is thinking. Finally, the silence breaks.

 

“And you’re avoiding me because you like me,” Mitch says finally, his voice calm. Say what you will about Mitch but he’s smarter than he lets on. It’s one of the reasons Auston became so endeared by him.

 

The thing is, Mitch doesn’t sound happy at the revelation, he’s not mad – but he doesn’t sound relieved or like he has any feelings for Auston at all. And Auston can feel his heart split into tiny shards as he stutters out a broken “y-yes.”

 

“How long?”

 

“W-what?”

 

“How long have you liked me?”

 

“Since I first walked into the locker room at rookie training camp and you were the only one who didn’t treat me like I was some big hero or whatever. You just smiled at me and proceeded to talk my ear about all this Leafs trivia,” Auston remembers the moment better than the moment he scored his first NHL goal.

 

He walked into training camp that first day, surrounded by other rookies who would talk to him about being the next Crosby or whatever. Talk to him about how he’s going to lead them to a cup and become their next captain. And then walking into the locker room to find this 6ft skinny kid with sandy brown hair and mischievous eyes patting the stall next to him. He remembers Mitch introducing himself and launching into his life story – growing up a Leafs fan and not one mention of Auston. That was the moment Auston knew he was gone for Mitch.

 

“I remember that too,” Mitch says.

 

“Auston?”

 

“Yeah, Mitch?”

 

“You’re my best friend you know that right?”

 

Auston already knows what’s coming, he can feel the rejection thick in the air. Tears spring to his eyes and he furiously tries to wipe them away; glad that they’re in the darkness.

 

“Yeah, I know that,” Auston hates the way his voice cracks at the end.

 

“I like you Auston,” Mitch whispers, and maybe Auston was wrong about Mitch?  “But not in the way you want me to like you, Aus.”

 

The small glimmer of hope that had formed in Auston’s chest cracks into a million pieces and he rolls over onto his side, shoving his face into the pillow to stifle the tears spilling from his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry, Auston.”

 

*

 

**_I told him_ **

****

_how’d it go??? ;-)_

_should i start planning the wedding???_

**_Wish id never taken ur advice._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Constructive Criticism is always welcome and much appreciated!
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed!
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr on hit-em-with-the-fourr :)


End file.
